August 18th

Well, this is a day I have dreaded for a long time. A really long time. I'm sorry if this happens to be your birthday, or a day you are excited for. To me, this day makes me what to throw up. This is the day I will say goodbye to my large intestine. Yes, there goes my colon. I h.a.t.e. Crohns/Colitis. I had to type both of these losers because the doctors can't seem to figure out which one of these diseases I actually have. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 15 but then later rediagnosed around 21 with Crohns because of different symptoms. My doctor now believes that it is Colitis, but the surgeon who is performing my surgery says that what she can see its Crohns. Soooooooo, to say I want to have a mental breakdown would be an understatement. All I can really think about is this life here on Earth is the closest I will ever come to hell. Is that horrible to say? I don't think it is, I just know that this struggle for me on Earth makes me long for my pain-free eternity with the Ultimate Healer, Jesus Christ. I have to remind myself everyday that I can't expect this life to be perfect because God doesn't call my life to be perfect. I am a wretched sinner ONLY saved by his grace. Why should I expect to not have trouble? I want to struggle so that God's glory can be revealed. But that doesn't mean I can't be scared.
I am terrified. 1. because everybody knows I am a big fat baby and 2. because I really do truly want to live a long life, and when I say long that means seeing my great grandchildren get married. If thats even possible?? and 3. because I don't want my mission here on Earth to be complete. I mean if Jesus says its done, then that would be it but I don't want it to be. Can you tell I'm scared of dying? I know this is practically a routine surgery, but in my mind I am calculating everything that could possibly go wrong, and because I am an idiot, I asked the surgeon to tell me things that could go wrong!!! WHY????!!! I don't know, because again, I'm an idiot. So now the hour and a half long surgery consultation of what the surgery consists of and what will take place has now all been forgotten and the only part I remember is the things that could possibly go wrong.
I just want to say that death doesn't scare me, I know the minute I close my eyes and my heart stops I will be in the arms of my Savior. Dying, however, does scare me though because of what I am leaving behind, my husband, my 2 girls, and my family. That is scary. (And yes, to me there is a difference between death and dying, atleast to me, because I am weird like that.)
Okay, thats my spill about whats been going on in my head. I know right, you do NOT want to be in my head!! It is not a fun place to be right now, and probably won't be until I wake up after the surgery.

If you read this, I just ask that you be in prayer for me and my family. For peace of mind (mine), and for the surgeon, for the decision that had to be made and for a very speedy recovery. I really want to get back to life and actually enjoy it.
Thank you for praying for me. I appreciate it more than you will truly ever know. I have so many pictures I want to post from June and July but am just consumed with this surgery. I just can't seem to think about anything else so hopefully soon I will grow up and quit acting like a poor pitiful baby and move on then you can see what we have been up to.

MY Men

Well its Father's Day and I have ALOT to be thankful for!! Look at these 3 very handsome men in the picture with me!!!! Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what??!! They are all mine and I wanted to take some time to tell you what they each mean to me.

Let's start with my daddy since it is Father's Day. I don't know if you can get a better dad, actually pretty sure you can't. I love this man more than words could ever express. He is a superhero, I am telling you this man is a BEAST! I don't think there is one thing he is afraid off?? He makes me laugh so hard because he is such a manly man yet.........he can go with me to Bath & Body Works and smell different scents with me and loves it!!! He loves candles!! I feel so incredibly blessed that God sent him to be MY dad. I am a very ummmmmm, needy daughter. And he is always there for me, I am NEVER put on hold. To my girls he is known as Poppy. The funniest part about this right now is Stella says PoBBy, which in turn sounds like Bobby. So its a big joke that we are calling him Bobby now! Dad I can't tell you how much you mean to me and my babies, my family is my world and I'm so proud to call you a best friend and my dad and now my Bobby. Not to mention you are a HOT dad, but trust me, you know that!! We can barely get that ego out the door! You are so awesome! Thank you for always taking care of me and loving me so that I never had to look for love somewhere else. I love you sooooo much!!!


Next, my man. I think we all know how I feel about my man. He is my ROCK. I never dreamed that I would have a husband like Jared. I knew I would be married one day, but to have a man like Jared is just rare. GOD PREPARED HIM JUST FOR ME. I had to caps that to stress that God is in control. I know that being married to someone who is constantly sick and in and out of hospitals is probably not something he signed up for yet Jared is perfect for me. I am tearing up writing about him because I don't think I will ever be able to repay him as a wife. Not that he would ever want me too. You are an amazing man Jared, and such a wonderful daddy to our girls!! You make me happier than you will ever know, I can't imagine walking through this life without you holding my hand!!! You are an incredible daddy and husband and have 3 girls that can't get enough of you!! Thank you for being my baby daddy. I have never wanted anybody else but you!!! You top them all Jared and are in a husband league of your own!!! Thank you for loving me for just me. I love you!

And last but certainly not least, my brother. No, no he is not a daddy but he is such a outstanding man in my life. (hopefully one day he will give me some neices and nephews :)) But what a great brother he is. We have been through alot together, and he makes a sister soooo proud. One of my most favorite memories of my brother and I is when he was younger I would pester the crap out of him. And he hated it when I called him Jacob Marley. He would cry and punch me so hard everytime I would say it. Where did I get that? I have no idea but he hated it. We joke now that he is going to name his one day daughter Marley. I had to babysit him all growing up and thought he was my son!!! I am that sister that says, "I can mess with him but you can't". If anybody messed with him you can bet they heard from me! I love you baby brother!! You have grown into such a wonderful man and I can't wait to see what other things God has in store for you!! I am ALWAYS here for you, you know that. I love you!!!

Radical Change

You and I have an average of about seventy or eighty years on this earth. During these years we are bombarded with the temporary. Make money. Get stuff. Be comfortable. Live well. Have fun. In the middle of it all, we get blinded to the eternal. But it’s there. You and I stand on the porch of eternity. Both of us will soon stand before God to give an account for our stewardship of the time, the resources, the gifts, and ultimately the gospel he has entrusted to us. When that day comes, we are convinced we will not wish we had given more of ourselves to living the American Dream. We will not wish we had made more money, acquired more stuff, lived more comfortably, taken more vacations, watched more television, pursued greater retirement, or been more successful in the eyes of this world. Instead we will wish we had given more of ourselves to living for the day when every nation, tribe, people, and language will bow around the throne and sing the praises of the Savior who delights in radical obedience and the God who deserves eternal worship.

Are you ready to live for that dream? Let’s not waver any longer…
David Platt - Radical


WOW. WOW. Everytime I read this, I just get tears in my eyes. Its just so beautiful. So, this is a quote from David Platt who wrote the book Radical. Have I read the book yet? No. Am I dying to read the book? YES. My friend Rebecca bought the book for me at her church and I have yet to pick it up from her but I am literally dying to get my hands on it. Basically its about turning the American Dream upside down. Being a TRUE disciple of Jesus Christ.
I want a radical change in our life, because I know that we don't have time to live our happy American Dream. People are dying and going to hell. I am working for my eternity and boy does it feel good to just work for Jesus and not for Earth.

www.radicalthebook.com

You can visit the website if you like. Pretty cool stuff. Be sure to watch the video.

We got this

We got this down pat. Sittre Paige was a flowergirl for the 3rd time friday night and had a blast. She is such a little diva. We went to get her hair done and she loved having curly hair, she also loved someone pampering her! It was a beautiful wedding and very stress free. I was able to really enjoy watching her. The other 2 weddings she has been in were my very best friends and I was in those with her. So not only did I have to make sure she was doing the right thing, I had to make sure I was doing the right thing as well. I got to sit back and just watch this time. That was nice. Congratulations Kerry and Danny!!!!

Yes, that is gum in her mouth.

She started being silly but this is actually one of my favorite pictures. I loved her headpiece!

Taking a trip down memory lane. This was the 2nd time she was a flowergirl in Caris' wedding, August 1, 2009.

First time flowergirl! Lauren's wedding, April 4, 2009. Sittre Paige looks so young here!!

Thank you Kerry, Lauren and Caris for inviting my daughter into your weddings!!! She has enjoyed every moment! I appreciate you three allowing my daughter a moment to shine!!!

We get to have a 4th go-round next summer when my cousin Kaitlin gets married! Stella will make her flowergirl debut in this one as well. Should be extremely interesting.

The Giver

One of my most precious friends, Bonnie, had her baby boy today. Carter Anthony Moore weighed in at 6 pds 9 ounces. I wasn't suppose to actually visit today but could barely contain myself and my baby fever so after I heard he had arrived this morning, I hopped in the car.
I don't know if there is anything more precious than holding a "couple hours old" baby. wow. I just can't thank God enough for life. I mean as I was holding Carter, I looked up at Bonnie and said, "How can anyone look at a baby and not believe there is a living God?" Seriously, I can barely wrap my head around this. Of course, everytime I see a newborn I think of Jeremiah 1:5 which says, a. before I formed you in the womb I knew you.
I mean, you just think about the 9 months of growing, and then birthing and then holding and loving on the angel, all the while knowing that God knows His children even before He forms them. wow. I don't know thats just amazing stuff to me. Today and everyday I praise Him, the giver and taker of life. No matter what, HE is enough. I praised Him today for Carter's life. I also praised Him in January when He called my sweet grandmother home. Because He is worthy of ALL praise, in life and death. HE is enough.

Psalm 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.

Thank you God for your truly breathtaking rewards.

Picture Overload

I have been major MIA lately. I know this. I feel like we have been going 90 to nothing and its already June!!!! I am so thankful for this rainy Saturday morning to sit around the house and get a chance to write and share some pictures because otherwise we would be at the pool. Thats where we have been the last 2 weeks straight!! We have worn out our neighborhood pool already, our everyday routine consists of waking up around 6:30 am, eat breakfast and by 8:30 we are on our way to swim. We are home by 10:30 to get a bath, eat lunch and then nap. Makes for an awesome summer day. I am so fortunate that I can stay home with my babies. They enrich my life so much.
Well, Sittre Paige turned 4 and a HALF, this is very important because she has begun to plan her 5th birthday party, she is a flowergirl next weekend, and then starts swimming lessons on June 7th. We have got to get rid of the floaties!!!
Stella is now 16 months and is a bit of a struggle. She is her own person and knows that this whole family caters to her every need. So she gets everything she wants and if she doesn't, well its not a pretty picture. She can throw a fit like nobodys business. Its a good thing she is so cute with her big bows, otherwise I might go crazy. She is still struggling in the hair department! Can't wait to see her with hair around that sweet face!
These pictures are random and out of order but its just whats been going on.

Stella backstage at Sittre Paige's dance recital. Can't wait till both my girls are dancing!!

4 1/2 and 16 months

Sittre Paige and daddy after the rectial was over. We were so proud of SP. She really did a great job and enjoyed being on stage. Jared's parents took all the pictures of her on stage so once I can get those uploaded I will post some. Unfortunately I couldn't take any because I was running back and forth from the backstage then to see her perform and then back again! Should be very interesting once I have 2 girls dancing on recital day.

Sittre Paige and Lacey before going on stage.

Since SP did such a good performance we took her to get a prize. She wanted some nails so bad! Hilarious!

My brother Jacob and SP after the recital. She had alot of support that day!

SP and her friend Lacey again. Its so funny how your children latch on to other kids. They got along so good and teamed up every chance they could. You wouldn't see one without the other! I really hope they are in the same class next year.

Watching Saturday morning cartoons.

Mrs. Ashley and SP before the start of her 3K graduation program. The theme was 50's style.

Some of the 3k class before the program.

Lovey and SP on the night of her dance recital rehearsal. My mom couldn't make it to the recital due to a planned girls beach trip so she came to rehearsal night to watch SP perform.

SP and Lacey on rehearsal night.

This was SP's end of the year 3K party. They had pizza and ice cream sundae's. I am going to miss this class so bad, SP made so many great friends and keeps asking to go back to school because she is missing them. I have explained that she will be getting a new class with new friends but hopefully she will have some old ones get in her 4K class.

Daddy and SP on bike day.

Please take a look around at who my precious daughter hangs out with??? All boys. She loves playing with boys, it makes me laugh. Maybe because they do what she tells them too?? This won't last long.

Lovey and Stella before we left for Georgia. We spent the weekend at my mom's brothers house for Mother's Day weekend. We had a great, relaxing time.

Stella hanging out one day.

Sittre Paige learning to ride a big girl bike.

I have become obsessed with these! Its a smoothie mix and you just add milk!!! They are sooooo good!! Craving one now.

The girls riding their toys

Taking a walk to pops and Lovey's house one Saturday morning. SP loves to drive Stella and Stella enjoys changing the radio station. I wonder if they are going to enjoy sharing a car when they are older???

This is an old picture from Easter but we had to teach Stella how to hunt eggs and put them in the basket. We cheered her on in the background.

Forgot to post a picture of the "bunny cake" tradition. Its certainly not as pretty as last years cake but I think Lovey got overwhelmed with an extra helper this year. Check out that mess!!! Because this is a "pops and lovey tradition", Jared and I enjoyed a date night!!!

Okay I think I am up to date now? Don't know for sure, but nonetheless, I will be back. Happy Memorial Day, I am so incredibly thankful for the men and women who serve and risk their lives so that I may live freely. Freedom is certainly not free.

Happy Mother's Day Lovey

Happy Mother's Day to my best friend! Thank you for always being there for me (and my children) Lovey!!! You are such a rockin' mom!!! I love you my FASHIONISTA and your "boutique clothing"!!!! Thank you for your advice, your constant support, your faith in the Lord, my key to your house, babysitting my kids when I need some rest, your food and especially your never-ending love. I don't know what I would do without you!!! I love you will all my heart you little Diva. You are so beautiful on the inside and out!!!